180 Degrees
by DaughterOfPoseidon333
Summary: Set 11x02 and beyond. Tony had turned his back on many things, many people. But never had those 180 degrees hurt quite like this one. Never before had he had to turn around and walk away from the love of his life. Tiva. Collection of one-shots. Rated T just in case.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello everybody! Okay, so this is my first NCIS fic. First Tiva fic. I've written for NCIS LA, but with season 11's first two episodes, with Ziva leaving, well, I just had to write something. Granted, this is a little belated, but I have been insanely busy.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS or its characters etc. **

**Enjoy!**

He tried so hard not to turn around. He knew that if he turned around, if he did another 180 degrees, he might run right back into her arms and never leave. He tried _so damn hard_ not to turn around, not to look back at the person he loved most in the world. He tried not to look back and think that the next time he walked into work, her desk would be empty. The next time he made a quip about a movie she hadn't seen yet, she wouldn't be there with that adorably confused look on her face. The next time he needed to have a cold beer after a particularly hard case, it would end up just being him and McGee—or more likely him, by himself, with nobody but goldfish Kate for company.

He tried _so hard_ not to turn around, he really did. But with the kiss that took eight years to accomplish still hovering on his mouth, with the look in those beautiful brown eyes of hers as she told him that he was so loved haunting him, his willpower crumbled. On the staircase leading up to the door of the plane that would take him back to D.C. and away from her, his real home, he turned. Not a full 180. More like 90 degrees. He could see her smile lighting up the whole night from where he stood. And he also saw the tears glistening in her eyes. He damn near broke down right there. All he had to do was turn around. He could stay with her. He'd call Gibbs, make up something as to why he wasn't coming back. Or maybe he'd tell the truth—that he had broken rule 12. But she would never let him to that. Instead, he simply lifted his hand in farewell.

As he turned and took those last few steps towards the belly of the plane, gravity pulled him forward, but his heart seemed to pull him back. Because, in truth, his heart was back there on the tarmac with her. It took every bit of strength he had left—which wasn't much—to enter the plane and watch her disappear from view.

-:-:-:-:-

Sitting on the plane gave him a lot of time to think. He tried to think about what he would tell the rest of the team, tried to think about all the bills he would have to pay to repair his windows, tried to think about anything but her. He failed. His mind kept drifting back to her face, her hands as they drifted hesitantly across his body as he kissed her on the tarmac. The feel of her soft, warm lips lingered, the scent of her shampoo still tickling his nose, the feel of her incredibly soft, dark locks still ghosting over his fingertips.

It was funny, almost. They'd kissed before. It wasn't like that had been their first kiss, but it felt like it had. It wasn't a kiss for an undercover assignment. It wasn't a kiss forbidden by Rule 12. It was truly their first kiss. And he would be damned if it was their last; he would make sure that he saw her again no matter what. He had put every ounce of feeling, of _love _into that kiss. He felt all of that feeling equally returned by her. God, he would've given anything to either stay there with her or somehow convince her to come with him. If he had had just a little bit longer with her…another minute…but even he knew that a minute with her would never be enough now. He would never be able to spend enough time with her.

He stared down at the paper in front of him. The only thing he had written was 'I Will'. Sighing, he took his pen and tucked into his inner jacket pocket. As he did so, his fingers brushed something else. Confused, he grabbed it and pulled it out. He couldn't help the smile that spread over his face as the gold chain, with the Star of David dangling on the end, glinted in the overhead lights of the plane. Turning his head to look out at the night sky, he knew the necklace for exactly what it was. A promise. A promise that they would see each other again.

**So I hope you liked it =) That episode was just, oh boy. I'll probably continue this with more episode tags and probably some of my own stuff. I'll try to update as often as I can. I'm pretty busy, but stay tuned!**

**And please review! They are very much appreciated! The feedback really helps, so constructive criticism is welcome =)**

**Thanks for reading!**

**-DaughterOfPoseidon333**


	2. Chapter 2

**Based off of 11x03. **

**I don't own NCIS.**

**Enjoy!**

He had to pick up her phone today. Each ring was like a stab in the heart because all he could hear was her voice, saying _"Special Agent Ziva David,". _He could feel McGee's and Gibbs' gazes on him, could feel their eyes burning into him as they silently urged him to pick up the phone, probably because they knew that if they tried to, he'd probably punch them in the face. So he picked up her phone. And for the first time, he had to tell someone outside of their little family that _she didn't work there anymore. _His heart nearly snapped in two when he had to voice those words out loud.

It had only been a week since he'd gotten back. Only a week since he'd kissed her. Only a week since he spun that 180. Now he'd done many stupid things. But turning around and leaving her all alone on that strip of asphalt with tears streaming down her face, that, _by far, _was the stupidest thing he'd to date. He missed her _so badly. _So badly. He was constantly on the verge between breaking down and calling her to tell her, to _beg _her to come home to him—well, that is if he knew what number to call—and punching a wall till his hands were bleeding and broken.

As he lay in bed that night, he thought about her like he had every night since he left Israel. He thought about her like he had for years. Except, instead of knowing that she was in bed, at her apartment, safe and sound, he wondered what she was doing right now. Was she okay? Was she healing? Was she finding peace as she rebuilt her life? Was she thinking about him too? Did she miss him? Even as he asked himself the questions, he knew, in his heart that, yes, she was okay. He knew that she was healing, slowly, peacefully, as she started over. He _knew _that she missed him just as much as he missed her. He knew because she told him—she told him with that kiss. That stupid, beautiful, magical kiss that had been haunting him for a week now.

He ran his hands over his face. He was tired, but he couldn't sleep. He sat up, throwing the covers off, and made his way into his living room. He sat down at his table, opened his laptop, opened his email, and stared. What the hell was he going to write? He didn't want to say that he wanted her to come home because he loved her and that he needed her and whatnot. As much as he wanted to, as selfish as he wanted to be in the moment, just to have her in his arms again, he couldn't do that. This was about her. This was about her starting over, finding peace, and becoming somewhat of the woman she wanted to be.

Tony looked over at his goldfish. "Well, Kate, any bright ideas?"

Kate stared at him for a moment, then proceeded to continue swimming.

Frustrated, he logged off and shut his laptop a little too forcefully. Not bothering to change out of his pajamas, Tony slid into a jacket and grabbed is keys, heading to the one other person he could talk to in this instance.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Tony found Gibbs in the basement, not sleeping either—surprise, surprise. Gibbs didn't even look up to see who it was.

"What're you doin' here, DiNozzo?" Gibbs asked, but he didn't sound angry, just concerned.

"Couldn't sleep, I suppose," he replied, not really knowing what else to say.

Tony sat down on one of the stools, watching Gibbs sand the piece of wood he was currently working with. It was another minute or two—though it felt like forever—before Gibbs took his safety glasses off, set down his tools, and went to the counter behind him to grab the whiskey sitting there. Wordlessly, Gibbs poured them each a glass, and handed one off to Tony.

He'd been trying not to resort to alcohol as a means to ease the pain in his heart, but a little, he reasoned, would be okay. He took the glass and took a swig out of it, enjoying the feel of the alcohol burning down his throat.

"So," Gibbs started. "what's up?"

Tony considered shrugging it off and saying nothing, but he knew he couldn't do that. Besides, Gibbs already knew the answer.

"Ziva," he said, not meeting his boss' eyes. Saying her name made his heart race in a pleasant way, but then the feeling dissipated once he remembered that she was half a world away.

"Tony…" Gibbs trailed off, as if he weren't quite sure how to proceed. "I understand that you miss her. We all do. But—and I'm saying this because I have to be the boss here, I have to keep the job in mind, just like you. You have to let her go right now."

Tony looked up at Gibbs. His boss' face was tired. Tony hadn't really thought of it before now, but Gibbs had lost Ziva too. She had been like a daughter to him, and having her go was painful for him as well.

"Yeah," Tony tried to say, but it came out breath, his voice hitching more than he wanted it to, and he bowed his head.

"Tony,"

The gentleness in Gibbs voice made him look up again.

"She'll be back." Gibbs continued. "Maybe not tomorrow, but she will. But right now, she needs time. And I need you to focus on the job. Okay?"

Tony nodded. "Yeah, okay."

As he said it, he remembered the necklace. The promise she made through the gesture. She _would _be back. But until then, he had to try and keep the drinking to a minimum, had to try to not get annoyed when other people sat at her desk, had to just remember that she was going to come back.

Or he'd go to her.

He attempted a smile. He just had to get through, one day at a time.

**So there's chapter 2 for you! Hope you liked it! **

**Please let me know what you think! Feedback is very much appreciated!**

**Thank you for reading!**

**-DaughterOfPoseidon333**


End file.
